April 2nd, 2011

April Fool’s Day Deconstruction (A 23-Blog Conspiracy)

Is it April 2nd already?

It shouldn’t be legal. To have so much fun.

OK, so today is April 2nd and that means a deconstruction of the April Fool’s Day hoax on this blog, and as it happens, the blogs of 22 others.

I had one big problem in doing an April Fool’s joke, of course, that I discussed in the set-up for the posting: If people are looking at this site to see what stunt I will pull, based on my past April Fool’s Day conduct, how will I hoodwink anyone? Doesn’t a prank work best when it’s unexpected? Answer: Divert the readers to let the hoax play out elsewhere, and make sure the story is plausible.

The premise was simple. The New York Times got pranked a couple of times last year. And loads of people chuckled at the “Paper of Record” for being sloppy. So this time, I figured, let’s go after the chucklers; we’ll try to get those who most like to see others get got. We’ll just claim another Times fail, certainly plausible given the past, and see who chases the bait. It would be a prank about a prank.

And with that, a wild goose chase was born with one blog after another ostensibly providing the magic link to where readers could get their laugh at the expense of the Times. No one, of course,  actually had the goods since there were no goods to be had.  In all there were 15 bloggers feeding readers into a circle that contained eight blogs. All chasing a phantom punking.

I figured most people would realize they’d been hustled after three or four links because at that point plausibility has been substantially diminished. So the best way to prolong the ruse was to keep actual facts to a minimum, because actual facts could not only be cross-checked with a Google search, but worse,  could conflict with the “facts” in the next blog. So I asked my co-conspirators to use very few facts, much to the dismay of some very creative writers with implausible concepts — just to give a little bait to keep people hunting.

And it only took a couple hundred emails to get this going.  Some bloggers, of course, were too cowardly professional to play along and declined. I can now taunt them forever for having missed a good time. In private. Unless they tick me off. I’ve got a blog, you know, and I know how to use it.

The execution was choppy, but this was the plan: Everyone would post at 7 am sharp, New York time. And most did. We were either awake and at our keyboards, or had set up urls in advance along with an auto-post. This was critical in order to create a full circle.

But a couple of Texans, who shall remain nameless, messed up the time zone differences when they set their blogs to auto-post. And one blogger that was part of the planned nine-blog circle not only messed up his timing, but also mistakenly posted backwards to the blog leading into him. That meant a dead end. He was either playing an April Fool’s joke on me, or this was the clearest case of prankster malpractice the internet had ever seen.

In addition to that dead end, there were also blown urls that had been created in advance. And so, April Fool’s Day morning, there was a dizzying deluge of email with bloggers editing links to make it all work, as some folks went off to do that thing they call “work.” One blogger actually edited his outbound url using an iPhone while standing outside a courthouse, to bypass the dead end blogger and close the circle to eight.

All told, we had 23 blogs in on the game, which included law, medicine, gaming, and politics, as well as personal/quirky blogs. I had hoped to find a tech blog to add in, but never made a connection with anyone. And it would have been great to have had the Fail Blog involved — just think of all those readers that like to laugh at others chasing a phantom fail.

These were the eight inside the circle:

Turkewitz–> Simple Justice –> Patterico –> Ted Frank –> Popehat –> Dr. Wes –> Lemon Gloria –> Marc Randazza –> Turkewitz

And these were the 15 that fed readers via daisy chains into the vortex at various points, without whom this stunt wouldn’t have been nearly as successful:

Gamso –> Seddiq –> Tannebaum –> Bennett –> Frank

Movin’ Meat –> Suture for a Living –> Lemon Gloria

Grunt Doc –> Dr. Wes

Wise –> Barovick –> Crime and Federalism –> Popehat

Kill Ten Rats –> Frank

ABA Journal –> Simple Justice

Above the Law –> Popehat

Wendy & Jason –> Turkewitz

Windy Pundit –> Turkewitz

I hope I didn’t miss anyone, but we had late additions and a couple of late deletions and my head just about spun off its moorings.

Was it a success? You betcha, as we had many thousands of people chasing the phantom, just itching to see the Times get taken. How many were actually taken depends on your definition of gotcha, but I think anyone that clicked more than three links probably qualifies. Many, I assume, figured out early it was a prank but kept clicking out of amusement to see if there was treasure at the end of the rainbow, only to find the never-ending rainbow.

It’s worth noting that one media outlet was duped (or were they?) though that wasn’t the goal: The Village Voice. They did a round-up of April Fool’s media stories, debunking jokes and letting their readers know which ones were real or not (Did the Huffington Post Steal Their April Fool’s Day Joke? Plus More Media Gags!) Despite specifically looking to critique jokes and pranks, they got caught (?) by Scott Greenfield:

Today, almost every media operation in the world has already attempted or will soon attempt to make a joke at the expense of their readers, viewers, visitors, or customers. Most will actually fool very few, while even less will be funny…

Not a Joke: The New York Times got fooled by an April Fool’s Day story, just like last year. This one’s really good.

The Wall Street Journal wasn’t so hot on fact-checking either, when doing a story about this year’s April Fool’s Day hoaxes. They quoted and linked to last year’s punking of the Times to make fun of it:

Other Than That, the Story Was Accurate
“Note: an earlier version of this column had an item about a blog post by a personal-injury lawyer, Eric Turkewitz, announcing that he had been appointed the White House law blogger. Blogospheric chatter indicates a high likelihood that this post was an April Fool hoax. Mr. Turkewitz declined to give us a straight answer on this score, so, pending callback from the White House, we’ve taken the item down.”–New York Times website, April 1

When you check the date, fellas, you also have to remember the year. That sort of reminds me of commenters that make fun of spelling mistakes, while making their own.

And here’s an interesting bit about the visitors yesterday from the data I looked at: The lawfirm with the most people to visit was….wait for it….the Department of Justice. I know I speak for many in saying we sleep better knowing our tax dollars are well spent. And I would also like to welcome my visitors from the Supreme Court, Senate and White House.

The comments at many blogs were fun, as were the emails, and many happily conceded they’d been had. But the award for best comments goes to….Popehat. Really. Especially “JB” and “Scott Jacobs.” Instant classics.

Final note: As I type, the economy still stinks and we’re engaged in 2.5 wars. Those who read blogs such as this probably know more than their fair share of people suffering hardship. There is an earthquake/tsunami/nuclear disaster in Japan. So it’s probably healthy to take a moment out of the day to laugh at yourself and count your blessings. And on behalf of my co-conspirators, we were happy to help you get to that point.

Same time next year?

(No clients were hurt in the perpetration of this hoax.)

 

April 1st, 2011

NYT Gets Punked Again on April Fool’s Day (But not by me)

Oy. Again Gray Lady? It didn’t seem to take that long, though I guess that’s old media for you. The Times got suckered again on April Fool’s Day. And it was just before bed last night that I wrote:

But, fear not, someplace out there on the web there are hoaxsters and pranksters of all stripes, and someplace, somewhere some folks will get gotten either because they weren’t wary, or if the gag is good enough, despite it.

Despite being punked twice last year by April Fool’s gags, and despite even doing that editorial mea culpa on the subject, the New York Times seems to have been snared again. That’s what they get for putting up a paywall.

Scott Greenfield of Simple Justice fame has the link.

 

April 1st, 2011

April Fool’s Day is Here (Sorry, No Joke Today)

I’ve got a small problem this April Fool’s Day. Each of the last three years I’ve run a gag. I started with a decent one about the Supreme Court and fantasy baseball that nabbed a bunch of people who didn’t see it coming here, and followed up a year later with a lame one about selling this blog on eBay.

But last year, when the gag snagged the New York Times with that bit about me being appointed White House law blogger, I also learned something else; readers were actually checking in that morning to see what kind of stunt I would pull.

How early did they check in? Well, the ABA Journal ratted me out at 6:46 a.m. central time. I was lucky that the joke still had legs, thanks to all those that were in on the conspiracy and “confirming” my appointment, and that the Times didn’t find the ABA posting with a simple Google search.

But when you add in the considerable post-joke kerfuffle that took place about whether such jokes are ethical violations, that it was the subject of a Disciplinary Board comment from the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania, and then add that the joke was part of a New York Times mea culpa editorial,  it became clear to me that my days as an April Fool’s day gagster were done.

You need a well trained magician to pull a rabbit out of a hat while everyone is watching, not some guy with a law degree who got lucky a couple times when people were taken by surprise. (Though my screenwriter brother wanted me to continue my streak and write of a local strip club offering up a bikini-clad driver to lead-footed Justice Antonin Scalia, who caused a four-car wreck the other day.)

But, fear not, someplace out there on the web there are hoaxsters and pranksters of all stripes, and someplace, somewhere some folks will get gotten because they weren’t wary, or if the gag is really good enough, despite it. But it won’t be here.

Update: Incredibly, the Times got taken again (though I had nothing to do with it).

 

March 31st, 2011

Drug Thefts Go Big

Over the years, I’ve written a number of postings about how pharmaceuticals are distributed in the United States, based on my interest after handling a counterfeit drug case from 2002. That case, involving 16-year-old liver transplant patient Timothy Fagan from Long Island who was injected with counterfeit Epogen, resulted in significant changes in the way pharmaceuticals are bought and sold in this country by multibillion dollar businesses, and supposed safeguards on who can buy and sell.

(You can read more on it at the counterfeit drugs resource page at my web site, which I haven’t updated in awhile but gives background, or by clicking the counterfeit drugs tag here.)

Now, an article in Fortune once again explores the dark side of the pharmaceutical drug trade, not from the standpoint of counterfeits, but from the standpoint of how stolen drugs can land in your pharmacy and be bought by you, completely unaware of the path they have taken:

This is the teaser and the lede:

Organized gangs are stealing prescription medicine in increasingly audacious heists. That’s a problem for Big Pharma and for patients, who can unknowingly buy stolen — and sometimes dangerous — medications.

By Katherine Eban, contributor

FORTUNE — A few years ago a security expert visited Eli Lilly’s vast warehouse in Enfield, Conn., one of the pharmaceutical giant’s three U.S. distribution sites, where hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of prescription drugs are stored. The expert was surprised to see the facility lacked a perimeter fence. There wasn’t even a $10-an-hour guard stationed outside. But Lilly officials assured the consultant there was nothing to be concerned about. Recalls the expert: “They were very proud to show me. ‘We have four-foot-thick walls.'”

He then looked up at the ceiling. “I was like, ‘What’s up there?'” he says. “There” turned out to be a standard tar roof with no extra reinforcement or fortification….

The rest of the story is here: Drug Thefts Go Big

 

March 31st, 2011

Opening Day – An Interview with 1986 Shea Jumper Mike Sergio

We go off topic today because it’s opening day, when hope springs eternal and your hometown team has yet to lose a game. And to celebrate, I bring you a baseball interview celebrating  one of the most memorable World Series the sport has ever seen.

This is the 25th anniversary season of  the 1986 Mets v. Red Sox series. And I was there in Shea Stadium for all four of the home games, having used some creative means of getting inside, since most of the tickets went corporate. (The statute of limitations has passed, thankfully, on my creative means, and Shea is no more.)

And it was Game 6 of that series that will live on in the minds of sports fans. Not only because the Red Sox were up by two in the 10th inning and just one measly out away from ridding themselves of the Curse of the Bambino..and the Mets rallied…and a legendary at bat by Mookie Wilson that included a game-tying wild pitch by Bob Stanley that skipped past Rich Gedman, and a game-ending error by Bill Buckner when Wilson’s squibbler went through his legs.

No, the game was memorable for something else as well. For Mike Sergio drifting down out of the Queens night sky with a Go Mets banner strung from his rigging that turned him into an instant cultural icon. And to celebrate the 25th anniverary of that season, I decided to interview Sergio, now an actor and filmmaker (and an Emmy winner) (whose jump was profiled at length in this 1989 Sports Illustrated article)

1.  You landed on the field in the first inning of Game 6 of the ’86 series, and were promptly arrested. So does that mean you were in custody when Mookie Wilson had his legendary at bat in the bottom of the 10th and the Mets came from behind to beat the Red Sox? How did you feel about missing the game?
My brother David Sergio (sadly he passed away from cancer just after I was released from prison) was a NYPD police officer and in the vicinity of Shea Stadium at the time of my jump. Needless to say when he showed up at the local precinct the atmosphere turned pretty festive.  I was really concerned that if the Mets lost the game the media, and worst of all the Met fans, would instantly blame me and then I’d have to move out of NYC… and believe me I really wasn’t looking forward to living on a farm in Canada… not that there’s anything wrong with Canada (ok, let’s just leave the Toronto Blue Jays out of this discussion).  So, with the baseball gods smiling on me, a TV suddenly appeared and I was able to watch the end of the game. At the top of the 10th inning I was already mentally planning how much winter clothing I should pack for my trip north but then the beautiful, marvelous and amazing Mets went to work… and what a job they did. Where I was, and I can’t say too much about where I was, everybody went absolutely wild. So in my mind I quickly unpacked my winter clothes and went to work signing autographs. Like Rick in Casablanca, all I could think was “of all the games, in all the towns, in all the world, I picked this one to jump into”…  yahooo!!!

2. Were you still in custody for Game 7? Did they let you watch the Mets win the Series?
The next morning Judge Alan Beldock released me on my own recognizance and ordered a court hearing. The Judge said to me “I’m a Mets season-ticketholder, I was there when it happened. I’m still trying to figure where you came from.” So yes I was out and free and able to watch game 7… and I was trilled to see fans in the bleachers holding up signs like “send in Sergio.”

3.   Has there ever been a moment in your life when you regretted the jump?
Not a single time… not for a single moment… not even when I was in jail and I honestly thought I was going to have to do at least 18 months on the contempt of court charge… not even then.  Obviously it was a more innocent time, but in my heart I knew that what I did, I did for fun and to show support for our New York Mets. So whatever was to come I was just going to take it and then move on.  I never thought it would be any big deal and I was really amazed at how much of an event it became.

4.  In the 25 years since that stunt, did you pull off any others? Or did you simply quit while you were ahead?
STUNT!!!!! Eric please, as a sensitive artist I prefer to call what I did “my performance art”… and yeah, I quit while I was ahead.  I couldn’t see myself, in my waining years, jumping into country fairs for 50 bucks and a ride on the Giant Ferris Wheel. But actually that doesn’t really seem all that bad right now… hummm?

5.  Did you lose any acting/film jobs as a result of the stunt? Or gain any?
Actually I never used the event to try and capitalize off of… and I was always very conscientious about keeping my jumping separate from my artistic life (although I did do one skydiving Wendy’s commercial which I think I booked before the Shea jump anyway?). The networks put out feelers about doing a film but I turned everything down.  At the time I was acting on a soap (Loving), I was in numerous commercials, I was singing almost every night at the NY Improv, I had recently been in a Broadway play for 2 years (I Love My Wife), I had sold a screenplay that actually got made (Simple Justice) and I was starting a directing career that has turned into something wonderful for me (I’ve won an Emmy for Directing and numerous awards for my film & theatrical distribution company CAVU Pictures).  But now, 25 years later, some very creative people have approached me about doing both a book and a film about the event, but like everything in the film business, it would be dependent upon them raising the funds to do it. But honestly, at this point in my life I think it would be great fun… so, we’ll see what happens.

6.  Do strangers ever recognize you (or your name)?  And if so, is it for your Shea jump or your film work?
Wow… this just happened… I was in Trader Joe’s on 6th Avenue about 2 weeks ago and I’m pushing a shopping cart down the vegan isle when a young guy who’s pushing his cart in the opposite direction looks up and with a questioning surprise on his face points at me and says… “Mike Sergio”?  So I figured he’s a crew guy who I must have hired on one project or another and I say “yeah, that’s me”.  He goes absolutely nuts… I mean he is really happy to see me and he says “Mike Sergio from the 1986 World Series”?  Now I’m stunned because this guy doesn’t look like he was even born when I did the jump… and he holds up a magazine section that one of the dailies had just done about the Mets so now I’m floored. Over the years my hair has sprouted an age appropriate amount of gray and I have definitely become gravity enhanced… so I say to the guy “how did you recognize me” and he says back “because your face looks exactly the same”.  OK, so I took that compliment and just jumped into the moment.  I signed his Trader Joe’s produce flyer, or it might have been a notebook that he had… who can remember with all the excitement. But then reality starts to set in and I said to him “come on… are you from the government”… but he doesn’t skip a beat and he says that his girlfriend is in college and she’s has this big Mets sports blog and he instantly called her… so yeah… I still get recognized.

7. When you failed to cough up the name of the pilot —  who violated a few aviation rules when he dropped you from the sky so close to LaGuardia Airport —  you were held in contempt of court and jailed for three weeks. The judge finally let you go when he realized you weren’t going to talk. Is there any chance that the pilot, assuming he is still alive, will release you from your vow of silence? And if so, is that day today?
Like I said… (cue the heavy New York accent)… “I’m just glad I had my parachute on when I fell out of the bleachers” (cut… one more time with feeling please).

8.  In 2006 Jeb Corliss tried to BASE jump off the Empire State Building, apparently with the objective of landing in the street. He was arrested on the observation deck, and then sued for emotional distress. He was convicted of reckless endangerment and lost his civil suit. I thought it was a spectacularly stupid stunt due to the risk of stunned drivers in midtown Manhattan and pedestrians being distracted.  As a stunt junkie yourself — and someone who assisted Owen Quinn in being first person to BASE jump off the World Trade Center — how did you feel about it?
STUNT JUNKIE!!!!!  Eric please… for the last time… I prefer to call myself a “performance art junkie”!!!    Now this is a bit of a dicey question for me, and being of the legal persuasion I know you’ll appreciate my situation so… I’m lawyering up and taking the 5th.

9. What’s the most common question you get asked about the stunt?
STUNT!!!… AGAIN WITH THE STUNT!!!!   That’s it… no answer for you… next!!!

10.  Have the Mets invited you down to participate in this year’s 25th celebration?
Actually while the players were always really supportive of me the Mets organization itself has not been. I can understand their position but you would think a PR person would see the value of giving a “walk on” to the guy who parachuted into the 1986 World Series…. you know to fire up the crowds!  In fact a couple of years ago they invited a parachutist to jump into the stadium and people wrote that it was me jumping in again. Wow… now I’m a franchise and get credit for jumps I don’t even do. (Hey can I get them on ‘Performance Art Infringement’?)   Last year I even went down to the Mets open call for singers (and I can sing!!!) to try out for one of 5 slots to sing the National Anthem at Shea… but I literally got a “Mr. Sergio, don’t call us, we’ll call you” message.
 

Oh well… life goes on.

11. The Mets are going to win it all this year, right?
All the way baby… all the way!!!

 

12. If you were conducting this interview, what question do you think should be asked? And how would  you it?
Question #1: Mr. Sergio are you available for dinner and perhaps some light cocktails.
Answer #1:   Why Scarlett Johansson… of course I am darling… of course I am… your place or mine?