I hate to do this. I like Ben & Jerry’s. The whole family does. We consider the boys extra brothers to the clan. If you cut us, we bleed Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Those are my folks to the right on one of our visits to the factory on a Vermont family vacation.
So when we made a little 30 second video for their 30th Birthday Video Contest, we expected it would be received with a sense of gratification, as it clearly demonstrates what the ice cream means to us. Not shock and awe, mind you, but at least a smile.
But alas, it was rejected. Rejected! Why? Due to “inappropriate material.” Apparently, we shocked.
First, it’s hard to believe they would refuse to post a video on their site that has inappropriate material given that about half the videos are already inappropriate, since they have kids in them and kids aren’t allowed by the rules. (Hey, Turkewitz, take off your damn lawyer’s hat and get back to your video!)
Second, is this what happens when a happy-go-lucky little ice cream company gets swallowed up by a giant conglomerate? It tries to show it has a sense of humor with a send-us-your-video gig, and then falls on its face? What would Ben say? What would Jerry say? They’d be rolling over in their graves at what has become of their beloved company, were either of them dead. Brothers, can you help us out here?
We coulda been stars. We coulda been somebody. That should be plural, but now I’m on a roll. We coulda been stars of the internet, instead of being woefully off-topic on this crummy little law blog where no one will ever find us.
As I was saying, and I know by now you are wondering where the hell the video is already, there doesn’t seem to be anything inappropriate about a little BJ. That’s Ben and Jerry, for the acronym challenged. But you can decide for yourself the appropriateness of the 30 second video that follows, for its Karamel Sutra flavor I should note, that has been:
BANNED BY BEN & JERRY’S!
Film and editing credit goes to my screenwriting brother Dan (whose own operatic Ben & Jerry’s birthday wish was accepted) and script credit goes to my co-star and roommate.
Wait! There’s more!!! What would a couple of movies be without their outtakes? First from my brother’s film where I try hard to knock the ice cream off the cone, and then from our own video. Here they are:
Update: Ben & Jerry’s Fear of Lawyers Kills Video Submission (7/30/08)